I want to go home
by Tensleep
Summary: When Bran Curtis ends up on the island he knows they could be there for a while, but he'll find that he's in for the adventure of a life time(Outsiders-Lord of the Flies crossover)
1. The Book

Ok, the only reason I made it through the Lord of the Flies was because I had to. The only reason why I remembered it was because I was able to transplant Brannon Curtis into the book. A few people I told about it thought it was a good idea, so I plan to write it. This is my first Lord of the Flies piece and the first time Bran has stepped out of the world Alli, Keira and I created for him.

I know, Bran is an Outsiders character and this is posted in the Lord of the Flies section, but hopefully it will be enjoyed or hated by both audiences. Hopefully new readers will catch onto the Branisms.

Dedication: This goes out to Alli and Keira who are always my greatest audience and Best friends all wrapped into one. They were kind enough to give me permission for this craziness, so three cheers for them!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the co-ownership of Brannon Luke Curtis. William G. Golding owns The Lord of the Flies and S.E. Hinton owns the Outsiders.

Ok, enough of my blabbering! On with the show!

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Bran's POV

You know, I just don't get it. What was the point of cleaning the bathroom? It just got dirty again when people used it. Wouldn't have been easier to just sit back and let the damn room grow mold so that we could put in a claim to the state and go a better house? Hell, I was a D student and I could even figure out ways to commit insurance fraud.

"Darry?" I yelled into the other room "What's our insurance cover?"

"Fire, water and it should cover you," Darry answered, "What did you do?"

"Now, that hurt," I mock-cried, looking back at the bathroom "Nothing! I swear!"

Darry stuck his head around the corner and frowned at me. I smiled back at my own accusing eyes and found no comfort there. How come I got all the good qualities?

"What?" I asked

"You're just standing there. You never just stand there," he answered, "Have you finished with the bathroom?"

"Yes."

He glared at me and I shrugged innocently. He sighed and went back into the kitchen, just leaving me there, completely off the hook! I grinned and looked around for something to do now. The obvious choice was to follow Darry until he was pissed off enough to tell me to go to hell or something. Having a Twin was amusing, especially when he was the one in charge.

I turned to go down the hall, but Darry met me before I could move three feet. I nearly jumped, but I managed to smile at him.

"I know that look," he commented

"It's what you see in the mirror every day."

"That look that says you're going to annoy the hell out of me until I yell at you," Darry answered, ignoring my remark, "Well, not today. I think I have the perfect project for you."

"Project?" My heart sank. Goodbye fun…

"Yeah, I was going through the bookshelf…"

"Books!" I made a cross with the pointer finger of each hand "I don't think so!"

"Will you let me finish?" He asked, impatiently

"Carry on," I answered, still crossing my fingers

"I have a bet for you. You read the book I picked and tell me all about it, to my satisfaction, and you won't have to do dishes for the next two weeks."

"Make it a month and I'll consider it," I answered

"Fine, but if you don't, then you're going to do all the dishes for the next month, deal?"

"What book is it?"

Darry smiled and went down the hall. I followed him, not liking this idea, but if it got me out of dish duty for a month, then I was willing to give anything a try. He walked over to the bookshelf and handed me a book: The Lord of the Flies. I groaned

"Do I have to read this one?" I asked

"It's all about boys alone on an Island," Darry explained "Then it turns into savages and hunts."

"Boring," I said taking the book and flipping to the last page "225 Pages! Are you off your rocker?"

"The one I had picked out was 403 pages, so count yourself lucky Pony dug up this one."

I groaned. My little buddy was not helping me any when he did things like this. He could have found a pop up book or something…this one looked old and boring, and that was just the front cover. I flipped to the Copywriting page and looked for the date. 1954! I wasn't even…well, I was alive, but I couldn't remember twelve years ago all that well. I was only nine.

"You read that and I'll hold up my end. I don't expect you to even get past the first chapter…" Darry was taunting me and I took the bait

"I'll get to at least chapter 5 before I quit!" I snapped, flopping down in the easy chair.

Darry smiled and wished me luck before disappearing into the kitchen. I'd show him! No faith, I swear! Where did he go wrong in life? I can't blame our parents because us three came out all right, but Darry was an odd one.

"I don't hear reading…"

"You aren't supposed to!" I called back and flipped open the book

"_Chapter 1 The Sound of the shell…_ _The boy with fair hair lowered himself down the last few feet of rock and began to pick his way towards the lagoon…"_

I groaned. This was so boring! What was it with all these old people authors and writing their stories at a snail's pace. No one cares about who was going where and why, but when they get there, then the story can get amusing. I sighed and picked it up again. By the time I was done the first three chapters I was completely lost and bored to tears. I could hear Darry humming in the kitchen, happily. He was so smug. I picked up the book again, determined to get to chapter five if it was the last thing I ever did.

Skipping a page here and there while not really taking in what the fat kid was saying, I made my way through the book. I was already yawning! When I hit chapter five, I stretched out in the chair and put my head back. All this reading could make your eyes tired. I'd finish it in a bit. I'd earned my break and it would only be for a moment anyways…

I the next thing I knew the chair bounced. I thought it was odd, but tried to ignore it and go back to sleep. Then something dinged. That microwave was sure making odd noises… Then I heard it, the one thing totally foreign to my world, the one thing that I would have never expected in the house, the one thing that made me open my eyes…children.

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Ok, So Bran has set off on his adventure! I hope to have the next chapter coming up so that everyone knows the method to my madness and this one was short in Tensleep terms. Hope you all enjoyed!

Any comments at all are welcome and flames are accepted.

See ya in the funny papers! Tens


	2. Darry Is Going To Kill Me

Ok, chapter 2, which is technically chapter one, but who's counting? On with the show and review thankies are at the end!

Disclaimer: (From now on, check chapter one.) I do not own the Lord of the Flies or the Outsiders but I do own a third of Bran. Go Me!

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This was all wrong! Rows and rows of seats full of kids…boys… in a sardine can that I had no memory of entering was just…wrong! I looked around and saw a window by my elbow. I gaped outside at the clouds… 

"Holy shit," I muttered, "I'm on an airplane! I don't even have fare for the bus, but I'm on an airplane. Where's Steve when you need to shove something in his face and rub it in…"

"Can I help you, Sir?" A lady in a uniform asked

"Thank God! A blonde!" I yelped "How about you and me getting out of here for a while?"

"Sir?" She looked confused "The plane won't be landing for another five hours…"

"Five hours?" I asked, "Where are we?"

"In the south Atlantic," she answered brightly

"South what?" I was so damned confused

"The South Atlantic," she repeated "Flight 1120 from England"

"Flight from England? I can't be on any flight! Especially if it's from England! Darry is going to kill me. Do you have any idea how pissed he is going to be?"

She gaped at me like I had lost it. Well, if I was on an airplane from a country I had never been to, maybe I had lost it. I sank back into the padded blue seat and looked out the window again. It was then I realized someone's bag was on my lap.

"Can I get you anything, Sir?" She asked in a kindly, British accent

"Anything with Alcohol in it," I answered "And if you could, find out what time we're arriving in Tulsa."

"Tulsa?" The word sounded foreign on her lips

"Yeah, Tulsa…you know, Tulsa Oklahoma…The Good old U S of A?"

She frowned at what I had said, like it made absolutely no sense whatsoever. There was a Tulsa and I was going to tell her that, but she spoke first.

"This plane is not bound for the United States."

"Fuck!" I cursed

"Sir, there are children aboard!" She pointed out

"Double Fuck!" I cursed again

"Sir, if you do not desist, I will have to call the Captain back here," she warned

"Can I please have my drink?" I groaned

She cast me one more look before taking off down the isle after something. I had to admit that she looked good in that skirt, but too damn uptight. Whatever happened to the bubbly blondes? That's right! They were all in Tulsa. Lucky Two-Bit. He was probably in my chair reading the stupid book Darry assigned me while Darry told them all how I had met his one chapter expectation. Steve would have a field day with that one.

I looked down at the bag in my lap. It was a backpack type bag, but it only had one strap. I was shocked as hell to see my name on the tag, in my writing. I was the only person who could read my own writing, let alone write my own writing. I looked around before opening it. I nearly laughed when I did.

Sitting right on op of everything where a pair of dog tags. I had no idea where they had come from, but I'd always wanted a pair, minus all the work to get 'em. I threw them over my neck and continued digging in the bag. Peanut butter, picture of a hot blonde, duct tape, gum, underwear, clean shirt, notebook, pens, sunglasses, matches, a little guitar thingy, a deflated ball and that damned book! I couldn't get away from it, not even over the south pacific. Frustrated, I threw it back in and piled everything on top of it. I noticed it didn't shut as well as before, but it would do. I left the smaller pockets for another day when I wasn't so confused.

The stewardess came back about then with a small glass of something in her hand. She looked at me like she wasn't too sure about handing it over, but she did, reluctantly. It turned out to be brandy, something I had never had a liking for, but I figured that it would give me what I needed to calm down and evaluate the situation. Oh God! I was starting to sound like Darry!

I sunk deeper into my chair, miserable that I wasn't where I should be when I caught a pair of brown eyes studying me under a mop of red hair. The Kid couldn't have been more than 11 or 12. He was sitting with other boys all dressed in black capes with black caps to match. I took another sip of my brandy and winked at him over my glass. He raised his eyebrows and turned away from me. I'd harassed enough chicks to know that it did the trick every time and apparently it worked with little boys, too.

When I was done with the brandy, I looked around to discover I was in the last row of seats and there were little kids in the ones in front of me. Not more than two or three, minus red and his friends, where wearing the same uniforms. Uniforms? What stiffs! I wondered if that was one of the reasons why they weren't acting like I knew the gang would on an airplane. They'd probably punt us out not long after Darry had gone hoarse from telling us off. Boy, did I miss my brother. I know I just saw him before I went to sleep, but when you're not where you're supposed to be, things get complicated and you need to have people from home and…one of them was staring at me. This time it was a blonde haired kid with blue eyes. I sat back in my seat and he looked back to whatever he was doing. What was it with these kids? I wasn't all that interesting.

I went to wipe a hand over my forehead and was surprised to find a hat there. I removed it and took a better look at it. It was an officer's hat, like from the old Army movies. I never imagined they were brown. That got me thinking, so I looked down at the rest of my clothes.

"Lady!" I yelled, "I need another drink!"

"Is everything alright, sir?" she asked

"Peachy, just peachy. I'm on an airplane, in a uniform and I don't think it's a joke. I can't be a captain! I can't even get Pony and Soda moving when Darry isn't home! Then try it with Steve and Two-Bit hanging around."

She looked at me, again, like I was going bonkers, so I straightened up and asked for a scotch. She nodded and went off towards the kitchen thingy. The kids where all looking at me, so I put my hat back and wondered how I got stuck in this crummy position.

An hour, three drinks and a lot of getting nowhere later the sky started to darken. The Stewardess must have been ordered to keep an eye on me or something, so she was right there when the first raindrops fell and the lightening came. I could tell by the look on her face that it wasn't good and I ordered the pair of us a couple of doubles. She had a small sip of hers before the plane started to jolt violently. A couple of the littler kids started getting upset and she rushed off to go and settle them down. I considered making a fuss just to get her to come back to my end of the plane, but I didn't want to spoil the connection we were building. I was going to ask for her number as soon as we reached ground. I would never take it for granted again…who was I kidding? I'd probably just go back to living on the couch and forget this crazy adventure.

Suddenly the Plane jolted worse than before and I was glad they'd made us all put on our seatbelts. I grabbed onto the duffle bag and held onto my hat. I didn't know what was happening next, hell I was lost the whole trip, but I was pulled forward in my seat so that the seatbelt was holding me in and I was pushing on the seat in front of mine. I looked out the window and saw the lightening before I figured out we were going down. All I could think was "Oh shit-"

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Ok, that's all for now. I plan to get rolling on it again soon, probably next weekend when all my current deadlines are gone (can't wait for that one). But onto the reviews, before I get babbling. 

Keira: You're right. This is going to be great! Oh, just you wait until the stewardess isn't around, then Bran will have some fun with the kids. Yeah, you'd love the front cover of our printing. It's the pig's head on the stick with blood coming from the nose, mouth and half-closed eyes. Author died long time ago, so you can skip those. It's longer! I know, doesn't seem like it, but hey. Thanks again and hope you enjoyed!

NittanyLizard: Thanks! I'm really glad you you're enjoying it and that you do see that contrast. It was really fun to design a character to be that way, even if it did take us an hour to come up with his name. If you haven't reviewed it, no big deal. It's the laid back story (it has to be with Bran in it). I was thinking over and over again that it should have been a pop up book so I had to stick it in there. Thanks a lot, it means something to me! I'm really excited for an original crossover, my first. Well, all three of us thank you on Bran and Jhon's behalf. Thanks again and hope you enjoy. I hope to get the chapters longer when we get more into the story.

Any comments are welcome and flames are accepted

See ya in the funny papers! Tens


	3. Little Pigmy Heathens

Well, another chapter and here we are! On to reviews so this goes faster!

Nittany Lizard: I'm glad you found all that to like, I had fun writing them in. Oh, Bran will have some fun with them, I guarantee. Thanks, I think you should be paid, too, especially with four chapters in two days. You are so my hero for that one. I don't get that comic, but sure. Hope you enjoy!

Dragan: I'm glad you're enjoying and yeah, I figured people would be skeptical. I'm glad you think it makes sense and that you're enjoying it! Bran is always clueless and I'm glad you like the opposites thing with Darry. That's always fun to write. I hope you enjoy this one!

Keira: It's supposed to be, geeze. It's supposed to appeal to little boys. I think it's great you got nightmares. Poor you, Mrs. Smith flying the plane. Glad you liked it and hope you like this one!

TheAngryPrincess13: Thanks, hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: See chapter one

On with the show!

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Water lightly splashed against my legs and I think that was what got me to wake up halfway. I'd gone and fell asleep in the kiddy pool, again. I was going to have to stop doing that…I had weird dreams when that happened. How the hell did an airplane fit in, the one with the hot British stewardess? I don't think I really cared as long as she would visit me more often.

I felt the sun on my back and sank deeper into the sand. This was about the most relaxing sleep I had had in months. No one was screaming and yelling, no one had the TV or radio blaring and there was not the sound of anything but the water and the wind. It was nice. Now, if there was a blonde playfully nibbling on my ear, then I would have been in business and I could have called this bliss.

Suddenly, a trumpet of some kind started going off and I groaned. It was bad enough that Darry made me actually get up and ruled like a military dictator, but trumpets? Come on! I groaned again and rolled over, opening my eyes. It looked like it was going to be a beautiful day in the land of tyranny… I pushed myself up and felt my breath catch in my chest. This wasn't right and it didn't make sense, either.

There was water; clear, blue water that went on for miles and miles in all direction, until it just molded with the sky. My hands were covered in sand and there was a bird overhead that was one of those gulls from the sea. I had never seen one outside of a beach flick, but I had never seen the beach outside of a beach flick.

"Ok, it either really rained last night or I am still dreaming," I muttered "I'll just reassure myself that it did rain by looking down…"

I took a deep breath before looking down.

"Fuck…" I cried, putting my head in my hands "If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck."

I was still in this army uniform and if I was on the ground, then the plane really did crash. This dream was getting more messed by the minute. I tried to shake the sand from my hair and looked around curiously. There were trees off the beach, but they were odd trees. They had big old leaves and brown things handing from them that looked like little bowling balls, hairy bowling balls. I had the feeling I had seen them before, but I had no idea where or when. I looked down both sides of the beach and saw only more beach and it went on for a good stretch. There were rocks at one end that looked like concrete. I glanced above the trees and saw a mountain. Well, that was a good sign. There weren't any mountains in Oklahoma.

I stood up and spotted my hat and my bag. I wondered how the hell they made it to shore, but I was glad they had. I put my hat on and took off the jacket. It was getting too damn hot for it. I was going to have to find a telephone and let everyone know that I was all right and maybe I could bum a pair of shorts off someone. Then it hit me, I hadn't seen any people here yet. I wondered where they were.

"Well, they're all probably sleeping off the night before," I assured myself "Just like I should be."

That trumpet thingy went off again at one end of the beach and I sighed. I was wishing it were Darry, now. Darry had brains and stuff, he would know what to do and order me around until it got done. That was it! What would Darry do? I shut my eyes and scrunched up my nose, trying to think on what Darry would say, but all I was drawing was a picture of Darry in a hula skirt with Steve playing the bongos while Two-Bit and Ponyboy danced. I laughed, but I don't think it helped me figure out what to do next.

"Ok, Bran," I muttered, "Think."

Suddenly Darry's voice was crystal clear_ "Go in the direction of the noise, you idiot."_

"You're the boss, Darry," I saluted

"_And why am I in a hula skirt?"_

"That's not important," I said "What is important is that I find that hot stewardess."

That's when I grabbed my jacket, slung it over a shoulder and straightened my hat before walking towards where the trumpeting had been earlier. The beach wasn't as long as I initially thought, but I never walked anywhere, so it was a work out to say the least. At least at the end there would be people.

When I finally saw them, I wondered if I had ended up in the land of the midgets, like the girl in the Wizard of Oz. None of them started singing, though. They were scattered all across this lagoon thingy, playing and laughing and I really hoped I was dreaming.

"Hello, Sir," one said gazing up at me through thick spectacles

"Hi," I greeted, not so sure I was happy to see him

"You're the first adult here and my Auntie, she says-"

"Kid, I may have grown up, but I'm no adult. Darry is the adult," I paused "and when I find a phone, I'll call him and he'll tell us what to do to get rescued."

"There isn't any phone around here," the boy stated

"We'll have to make one. Do you know how to make a telephone?" I asked

"No, Sir, but we have more important-"

"Gilligan would know what to do!" I smiled "He would break the telephone the professor would build and we could use it to cook marshmallows while the professor made us a new one and while they were all busy Mary Ann and I could sneak off…"

"Sir?" the boy piped up

"Sir? It's Bran, Kid. My Dad and Darry were/are the only sirs in the Curtis family, until Soda and Pony get old enough to be, and no, I am not a missus," I said before he could get any ideas "What's your name?"

"Lawrence," he answered

"He's Piggy!" One little boy yelled and the rest giggled

Lawrence, Piggy, whoever he was, turned bright red and I sighed. He certainly looked like a Piggy. He was round at all edges and his nose was a little upturned. Probably too many sweets and not enough chick chasing in his life. He shouldn't worry, he wasn't quite horney yet. When he got there, he would run it off.

"So, Piggy, who's in charge here?" I asked

"We voted Ralph Chief, but my Auntie-"

"And where is this Ralph?" I asked

"He and Jack and Simon went to explore the island," Piggy answered "My Auntie-"

"Is this Auntie hot?" I asked

"No!" Piggy answered aghast

"Then I don't care what your auntie says," I said flatly

Piggy gave me an odd look and sat down in the sand at my feet. He started playing in it, watching the other kids. Something told me Piggy wasn't accepted or well liked or something and we had just crashed a day ago! I looked over at where there were a lot of little kids playing and tried to count them, but they kept moving.

"How many are there?" I asked Piggy

"I don't know. They keep on moving, so I never get me figures right," Piggy answered and I noticed an accent "You could get them all in line."

"Why me?" I asked

"You're the adult, I mean, you're older than me, than everyone here," Piggy corrected

I pondered it for a moment, wondering if I should do it. I didn't think there was a point, but they were all laughing and yelling and I felt like I had a monster hangover. Maybe I did. I had a few on the plane, add in all the alcohol in the sea I must have drank and I could have been very drunk at one point.

"The Kid is right," I said aloud and Piggy looked at me "All right! All of you stop playing and get over here!"

The kids looked at me, a little shocked at someone telling them what to do, but I was going to learn a lot of things on this island, one of the biggest things was that the uniform brought respect.

I was ready to climb a tree when they all came swarming up like spiders. I was never afraid of spiders, but I hated kids. They where always the ones that woke me up when I was sleeping it off and they always got all the candy at Halloween and you couldn't curse around them and…they just sucked! It seemed that I was on an island infested with them. Goodbye Paradise.

"Ok, all of you listen up. Iggy here would like you all to stand still so he can count you then get your names," I explained

"Yes, Sir!" They chorused

I groaned while Piggy went to work counting them. I pulled out the pad of paper from my bag and shoved it at Piggy to start copying names. The kids where all staring at me and I re-adjusted my hat. What the hell was their problem? They'd all seen someone pissed off at them at one point or another

"What?" I asked finally

"You're a Captain," one answered

"Oh, no I'm not!" I yelped "I'm Bran Curtis, nothing more. Thank Elvis for that."

"What's Elvis?" one asked

My Jaw dropped and I nearly gasped. How could they not know who the king of rock and roll was? This was blasphemy! Utter bullshit! When I noticed they were all gaping at me I said something.

"You don't know who the king is?"

They shook their heads no

"Elvis…Elvis Presley? Grace Land? Pricilla Presley? Thank you, thank you very much? Elvis has left the building? Come on!" I groaned

The all smiled at me and I wanted to hurt all of them. This was heart breaking! I'd known about Elvis for as long as I could remember and I would have figured all these boys would, too. England must have been really out of it or something.

"I think I'm going to be sick, I need a drink! Oh, Elvis! What has this world come to if young boys don't even know who you are?" I asked the sky

"Elvis sounds like a wussy name."

I glanced over to see three boys I had not spotted before, so they must have been the three Lawnie or Figgy or whatever his name was mentioned before. Snack, Ralph and Heineken. Usually I had them in a different order, but they would do. The red haired one was from the plane and he was smiling, like he wanted me to talk back to him. I was going to talk back to him, all right, right after Elvis.

"Forgive them, Elvis, for they know not who they insult," I said to the sky again "They're just a bunch of stupid teenyboppers who have never hear Jailhouse Rock or seen Blue Hawaii. The Elvis Pelvis is even foreign to them, but, if I have the time, I'll educate them."

I sighed and looked over all of them. I was too lazy to teach them anything, but if Elvis wanted me to and sent me a sign in the form of a beautiful blonde, brunette or red head I would do his bidding gladly. I glanced at the shoreline and saw none of the above. I groaned and flopped down on the sand. Ralph stepped up, looking important, and told everyone that the island was uninhabited or something. I assumed that meant there were no habits around here, meaning no people. This was really starting to suck. The red head started talking about forming some army. I smiled. I was in the army and I couldn't even show off the uniform to chicks. I think I fell asleep for a while. It was darkening out when the kids all got together, but it was even darker when I looked up

"What we need is a fire," Ralph announced

"No shit," I muttered and Ralph looked shocked

"You said a bad word!" One of them pointed out

"And I have a whole slew more of them," I answered "So don't piss me off."

I looked up and found Piggy in front of me, handing me back my paper and the pen. I went over the list of names and frowned. What the hell did he expect me to do with it? I ripped it our of the notebook and handed it to Piggy to hold on to.

"We need a fire, up on the mountain where everyone can see it," Ralph added "If a ship comes by we can be rescued."

"A fire! Make a fire!" A bunch shouted and the little pigmies all got to their feet

The red head, Jack, stood up and commanded them all to follow him, even thought the kid with the shell was yelling for them all to come back and be quiet. But off they went, leaving only Ralph and Piggy.

"Like Kids! Acting like a crowd of kids!" Piggy said while the Ralph kid laid the shell on the fallen tree trunk.

"What the hell do you expect? You all are kids!" I pointed out "Rotten, mean little pigmy children."

"What does Pigmy mean?" Ralph asked

"How the hell should I know?" I asked, not at all happy

Ralph shrugged and began clamoring after the other kids. Piggy looked almost aghast and took a couple steps after Ralph.

"Ralph! Hey! Where are you going?" He yelled

Ralph ignored him and kept going after the other kids who where running along, laughing. Oh how did I hate that sound.

"Like a crowd of kids-" Piggy muttered

He took a look at me and then looked longingly after the rest of the kids. I sighed and leaned back against a log, putting my hands behind my head and my hat over my eyes. I was more than ready for some peace and quiet to sleep off whatever was making me feel grumpy. I heard Piggy move around and moved my hat up enough to see he had the shell thingy and was making his way over a great mess of trees and crap with it.

"Good," I muttered "Little Elvis Heathen…"

With my eyes closed I could almost imagine I was home, relaxing in my chair with a cold beer and a good sandwich with lettuce and tomato and chocolate sauce and pickles and all that good stuff. Darry would be making dinner, Ponyboy would be watching the TV and Soda would be making a racket somewhere in there, you never could predict where. Two-Bit would be by for dinner and then we'd go out and get wasted and I would wake up in bed with some strange girl. Yep, it was the life and it was perfect.

Deciding I had dreamed up the little brats and that the stewardess would be back with drinks in a minute, I drifted off to sleep.

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Any comments at all are welcome and flames are accepted.

See ya in the funny papers! Tens


	4. It's My Messed Up Adventure!

Well, it's been a while, but I managed to lift the book and here I am! Even though this chapter has little to do with the book and more with Bran, bu you get my point and I am babbling. On with the show!

Disclaimer: I own a third of Bran, S.E. Hinton owns the Outsiders and Golding owns the rotten little Pigmy Heathens.

Oh, just a note. Bran is a little unhappy he didn't wake up from this 'dream' and I was a little unhappy and well, you get the below work as a result.

/-/-/-/-/-/

"_Bran, are you happy?"_

"_Sure, Baby. Why?" I asked stretching out on the bed_

"_You haven't been the same since, well..."  
_

"_Since my parents died," I ended for her "Yeah, I know. Things change when you loose people, Elaina. That doesn't mean I'm not happy."_

"_You could have fooled me," she said getting up with the sheet around her..._

"Bran?"

"Five more minutes, Baby" I mumbled

"Bran!"

"What?"

"We need you."

I cracked an eye open and groaned. I was still stuck in this stupid dream and the kids where all standing around me looking dirty tired and upset. I rolled over in the sand irritably. Didn't they have anything better to do? There was no one else on this island as far as I knew, but they could have been off doing something, anything else, than bugging me. I could smell smoke, so they obviously knew how to make a fire and cook for themselves. They didn't need me to wipe their asses, either, so I couldn't think of anything they would need me for.

"Bran?"

"Just go away," I moaned tiredly "You don't need me for anything and I sure as hell don't need the lot of you."

"But, the fire-"

"Put it out, if you can't watch it, because I won't," I told him as sternly as I could manage

"The kid with the mulberry birthmark is missing," someone hissed

"Do you think the fire got him?" another mumbled

"I'm sure he's just behind," Ralph spoke up

I cracked an eye at Ralph who looked shaky and I noticed he was covered in soot, they all were. I cursed and got to my feet; looking at them all with a look I hoped told them all I was pissed at them for not letting me wake up on my own, even though I hadn't been enjoying that dream in the slightest. But it beat this dream like 4 of a kind beat 2 pair.

"What did you do and what kid with the birth thingy?" I asked covering my eyes with my hand

"We started a fire!"

"A big one-"

"On the mountain-"

"With the specks-"

"My specks-"

"Then it-"

"And we ran-"

"And he's just behind-"

I wasn't listening anymore. They were all talking as fast as their jaws would move for them and they were all talking at once. It was like bees buzzing in my head. I couldn't stand it!

"For the love of Elvis! All you little bastards just shut up! Now!" I yelled feeling a headache coming on

There was instant silence and I sent a silent prayer to Elvis. I know I hadn't been his best patron and I had never been to church, but if he was a God, this was a good start when it came to answering my prayers. Before I had the chance to think further I heard sniffling. I looked through my fingers to find all the little kids with tears running down their faces and some of the older ones, too. Then one of them began sobbing, which led to a high-pitched wail. I groaned and covered my eyes with both hands, trying to rub out the headache before it had a chance to come on full force. I heard one howl and Iggy tutted loudly at me.

"Don't you tut me," I snapped "Only my mother, Elvis rest her, was allowed to do that. Now all of ya, stop your crying now."

I waited until they had all stopped before I uncovered my eyes. They were all looking up at me like I was the King Shit on Turd Island and I groaned. What? Did I have to make a speech? I straightened up and glanced over at Ralph who looked like he hadn't cried.

"You, and only you, tell me what in the name of Elvis happened," I ordered

"We started a fire on the mountain, but it got away from us," he explained

"This I can handle," I said, hoping Elvis knew I was thankful "You all can't go around playing with matches…. And… what had Darry said? Oh! And you all did very badly Bra-I mean, you guys. Now, you won't get supper and we have to spend money to fix what you did and further more, while I have your attention, there are rules we are going to follow from now on-"

"Bran?" Ralph said pulling on my sleeve

"Rule one, no interrupting me during the rules-"

"But Bran look," Ralph ordered pointing out towards something

"What do you…oh shit."

I looked over towards the mountain to see the whole thing was nearly burned. One side of it was black…and I sure as hell wasn't paying for that! See what Elvis heathens did? It's a good thing I wasn't babysitting. That would be a tough one to explain to their mothers…

"Ok, all of you sit, now!" I directed and they all sat. If only I had that power with blondes and my lap…

"Sir, the kid with the mulberry birthmark…" Iggy started

"I'm talking. Now. You lit the Island on fire? How could you? That was my idea and you all went and did it without me. I am not impressed. You didn't even wake me up so I could watch! This is just wrong. Funny to pull on a guy like Two-Bit…but just wrong if it's me and you all are in trouble," I paused "So, we're going to go over basic fire safety the way it was taught to me. 1. Nothing flame-able near the fire. 2. Always watch this fire, unless you have a blonde in your lap playing with your zipper, then you are excused. 3. Keep a bucket of Bourbon…no, that doesn't sound right. Keep something wet near the fire. 4. Call the fire department on the coconut phone Iggy is going to build. 5. Run like hell before the fuzz gets there. Any questions? No! Good!"

They all gaped at me and I picked up my hat, hitting it against my pants to get the sand off of them. When I wished they would make noise, they where all silent, but when I wanted quiet I had to yell and curse and ride out the crying before I got any results. I hate kids.

"I am going to go and take a walk. You all stay here and think about how you have not only displeased me, but how you have displeased the only thing on this island above my authority – Elvis!" I ordered before grabbing my bag and walking down the hill

None of them followed me and I sighed. Stupid Pigmy Heathens where ruining more and more of paradise by the day. Just look at the way that mountain was smoking! What were they going to ruin next? The sand? The trees by the beach? Elvis' favor upon me? I huffed. No, they'd already ruined that. I was still here, wasn't I? I cursed, suddenly mad, tired and frustratingly sober. I hadn't realized I'd done it until I saw the bag wrapped around the tree and one of the hairybowlingballslanded on the ground by it. I bent closer for a better look at the stupid thing when one caught me on the back of the head and I fell.

When I woke up, I wasn't on the beach, but I was still in this damn uniform. I cursed and picked up my bag to throw again, but I didn't feel like chasing after it, so I dumped everything out of it and started rifling through it, looking for some hope that there was a bottle of scotch hiding in the bottom of it somewhere. I wanted to curse when it wasn't there, but something better was!

"Ahem."

"Darry! What are you doing here?" I asked suddenly spotting him

"You're having a vision and I am here to give you advice you probably won't use," Darry answered sounding bored

"You are right. I won't use it, so you can just take me with you!" I suggested packing the bag again

"You have to stay here," Darry said sternly

I didn't bother arguing with him- it was the same tone he had used when Ponyboy, Soda and I had gotten together a petition to get a dog. If he couldn't follow democracy in the real world, he wouldn't in my vision.

"I don't want you to stay here, honest-"

"Try that card with someone who doesn't know you so well, Dar. Why am I here on this island with kids?" I asked

"Because you have to learn something," Darry answered straightening up and looking uptight, as usual

"What? Not to kill kids? If that's the lesson, I'm gonna fail. I can tell ya that right now."

"That's not the lesson and you can't kill those kids, you can't even interact with them. I meant to get to you before they did, but…"

"Why can't I act like a kid?" I asked absently

"Because these kids and this island are all from the book I set you down to read."

"You've got to be kidding me. They can't be the kids from the book, it was just a story and a damn boring one at that," I put in "I haven't even finished the book and it would be a punishment to send me here…Oh."

I wasn't stupid. I got it now. I was being punished. And here Darry was acting all innocent. How could he do that and look so annoyed at me? He usually enjoyed this part…

"Bran, this isn't a punishment, this is an adventure and it's going to be all right when it's all over. Until then, you just have to do what I say and keep out of the way of the book."

"They are the kids from the book?" I asked and he nodded Well, I thought a few of the names were familiar…

"Now listen," Darry ordered, "Since this is a book, you can't interfere with the outcome – What happens. So just act like you do at home and don't give the kids anything from that bag. It's there to keep you entertained and out of the story. So keep out of it."

"Why? This is my adventure. I can do what I want and I won' let you tell me what I can and cannot do. You just bring everything down so I feel like I'm not only being punished, but I'm to blame for everything. I'm just as much a victim-"

"You the victim?" Darry sounded disbelieving "I put up with all your shit and for what? The 'I'm the victim' crap? You're never around, you're drunk 9 out of the 10 times I see you -- "

"To be fair, I'm not drunk, now, and I wasn't the last time you saw me," I pointed out and Darry ignored me

"You can't hold down a job, you annoy the living hell out of me and something always gets broken," Darry paused "But, you're my brother. I'm not responsible for you, like I am for Pony and Soda, and I can't control your life to the degree I would like to and I can't make you clean up your act, but I can sure as hell tell you what to do here and Heaven help you if you don't listen to me. You could die here and it would be entirely your fault! Knowing you, it would be a totally un-probable death and I wouldn't feel the least bit guilty. You have to learn how to survive here and keep out of the way all at the same time. You know the 'or else' already. Any questions?"

"You know, I actually thought we were going to have a nice, brotherly chat," I admitted "But I do have one question: How do you figure they get the cream inside the Oreo?"

"Who gave you Oreos?" Darry snapped taking them from me

"Hey, this is my messed up dream. You tell me I have to live with Pigmy Elvis Heathens and can't do a thing to them or with them--fine. You tell me I can't go home until I'm done here--fine. But I draw the line with the cookies. They were in my bag and I somehow know that they come in Red Cross packs to Soldiers, which I apparently am one here. So you'd damn well better give them back to me, now."

Darry gaped at me, but gave them back. See, this just goes to show how badly I needed out of this place and to just go home. I normally wouldn't have ever stood up to Darry like that. He was gaping at me still and I glared at him. That's right. Next time you want to fight, Darrel, I was right here with a bag full of Oreos and a sock full of quarters…did I have it with me? I was going to have to check…

"So, how are Ponyboy and Soda?" I asked changing the subject "And Two-Bit?"

"They're fine. They don't even know you're gone. I'll be the only one you'll have contact with."

"Oh joy," I groaned

Paradise was slipping away faster and faster...

"You think I'm enjoying this?" Darry asked looking annoyed

"Well, yeah. You always enjoy it when I'm miserable." I shrugged

"That's not true. I felt bad when you had that cold last year," he reminded me

"Yeah, because I gave it to you!" I pointed out

"Bran…"

"Just go."

"I'll be back," he assured me "Someone will have to show you how to build a shelter and find food and--"

"I know. You're like the common cold, or worse: Steve. Now, if you don't mind, a fuzzy thing had just hit me on the back of the head..."

"A Coconut," Darry sighed

"A what?" I asked

I didn't get an answer, but I choked on a good mouthful of sand and coughed for a minute, trying to spit out the little grains of sand. My head was thumping something awful and I knew I had dreamed up that whole encounter with Darry, but it seemed too real…He'd nagged, bossed me around and set down rules. It was just like being at home with the real Darry. I sighed and rolled onto my back so I could look up at the sun. I saw there were more fuzzy things – Cocobutts or something – hanging in the tree, so I scrambled up and moved out of the line of fire. If my head hurt now, imagine the headache I would have after taking two of those suckers to the melon.

My stomach rumbled at the thought of melon and I looked around. Beach…more beach…tropical forest…water… Well, the choice was easy; either develop a taste for greens or go fishing. I looked through my pack for a pole or a net or something when my hand closed around the bag of Oreos. I pulled them out and looked at them for a full minute.

I wish I were drunk. It would explain everything perfectly.

"Elvis, forget the girls, send me a bottle of bourbon and I'll start up a church for you when I get home."

I waited a minute and decided Elvis was busy. That was ok. I'd remember that. Next time he wanted anything…. My stomach growled again and I unconsciously took a cookie from the bag and stuck it in my mouth. Something told me Iggy was going to have to create the first cocobutt Still or cookie factory before I killed him.

"You can't interfere," I reminded myself "No matter how much you want to kill the little..."

I heard laughter from down the beach and groaned as my head thumped. Something told me it was going to be a long 225 pages.

* * *

Well, there you have it. I thought it was a little dry, but Branisms will be back when he settles into things. A lot o this chapter was written over a year ago and was in my note book, waiting. So I hope you all enjoyed. 

Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I have an ingeneous plan to get back to responding to reviews, but not tonight.

Any comments at all are welcome and flames are accepted.

See ya in the funny papers!

Tens


	5. Bran of the Jungle

It's short, but you write what you can, huh?

Disclaimer: Second verse, same as the first…

For the next week every time I closed my eyes Darry was there telling me what to do. I had the distinct feeling that if I had have just done what he asked he would have just given me more boring things to do. What? You can't honestly think he would leave me alone? Where have you been for the last hundred years? Anyways, I just pretended I was mad at him and ignored him every time he showed up. I was doing the same with the kids. Every time I had important things to do they showed up. It was getting to the point where I was only paying attention to 'Little Bran' in the middle of the night when they were all asleep on the beach. I was really getting sick of toppling out of my hammock every time they showed up and I had my hand down my shorts. Did I mention I found a hammock in that duffle bag? Darry had suggested I build a shack and I had every intention of doing that but he was being so picky. 'Bran, you have to pick wood that's not rotten, even if it already is on the ground…' 'Bran, you can't build walls with leaves…' 'Bran, stop napping every twenty minutes…'

You know, for a hallucination, he was getting pretty annoying. It was like I was still living at home when I was in the world's biggest playground. So naturally, I wasn't going to sit on my hands like Darry had ordered – literally, he had told me to sit on my hands and not touch anything until this whole ordeal was over. Pfft, what was the fun in that? I'd sat on my hands long enough. I was going exploring like I should have done before I started building the shelter I gave up on and Darry kept nagging me about.

"Let's see, what will I take into the jungle?" I muttered, piling everything back into the duffle "Better question; what do I not want those Elvis Heathens to get their hands on?"

I sighed and started packing up everything. Those brats were always crawling through the valley Darry had made me move up into. He thought I would be too distracted down on the beach. Well, he had something else coming if he thought I wasn't distracted up here. There were far too many passing butterflies to stay focused on anything. I smirked, wondering if there was some huge Lord of the 'Flies or something that would eat the children. I'd enjoy that.

"What're you doing, Captain?"

I sighed, not surprised. Well, not all the way surprised. I didn't have my hand anywhere it wasn't supposed to be today.

"Dude, it's either Bran or Super-cool-God Bran-who-is-higher-than-the-Lord Elvis-who-has-forsaken-him-with-the-twin-from-hell-and-left-him-stuck-on-this-island-with-no-female-companionship."

The kid blinked at me and I smirked. That was too easy. These kids ate up whatever I said. It was kind of nice. I only got this admiration from Pony back before he figured out that he was smarter than I was. Those were a great Seven years…

"What're you doing, umm, Bran?"

"Well, Snack, I'm going to go on a nature hike. I don't know when I'll be back or if I'll be back, but if I find anyone in my valley, Darry's gonna kick my ass. So stay out," I ordered

"My name is Jack. If I have to get your name right, you have to get my name right," he ordered back

"Snack, I'm the lord of the Island. You're just a four foot tall monkey."

He fumed over that. "I thought you said Elvis was lord of the island?"

I glanced at Jack who was wearing only tattered pants. His back was raw from the heat and he was looking as wild as any monkey I had ever seen on TV. His red hair was all over the place and he was filthy. I'd been here just as long and I still looked good. It was like he never bathed. Of course he didn't. He didn't have Darry ordering him to take one every day. I even had to wash my clothes. But no more. On this adventure I was not going to do anything dumb like that.

"We're no longer on speaking terms. Until he answers my summons, I will not acknowledge him. Thus I am lord of the Island."

Now, this is where the world should have stopped turning and the stars should have fallen from the sky because everyone knows that would happen before I would ever go against Elvis in any way. But then I was stuck on an Island with Pigmy children and Cocobutts and no girls. I've said it once and I'll say it again, this was a punishment of epic proportions. Just wished I knew what I had done to deserve it.

"So what are you going to do without Smellvis? Ralph at least has us building shelters."

"I have a shelter, thank you very much."

Snack looked over at my half collapsed attempt at shelter and then back at me. What? It was a shelter! He was just as bad as Darry!

"When I actually need a shelter I'm sure a tent will come out of my bag," I grumbled, shoving more stuff into it

Snack looked my bag over and reached out for it. I smacked his hand away and gave him the sternest look Darry could manage, because let's face it; I was a push over most of the time.

"No. This bag is not for kids. Darry, Elvis and I are the only ones allowed to touch it," I told him sternly

"Why?"

"Because there's porn in there somewhere," I answered, hoping I was right, and he blinked at me "You know porn? Dirty magazines? Naked women?"

He gaped at me and I smirked. That one he got. "Anyways, little-food-eating-time-named-monkey-guy, I'm off and away to adventure the jungle. Don't come into my valley and don't come looking for me unless rescue or a girl come to the island – whichever comes first."

Snack gave me an odd look and I ignored him before slinging the duffle on my shoulder and moving off towards the jungle. My valley was positioned so if you stood on the edge of it you were well above the lagoon, but you could see it good. There was only random noise when the wind blew right or one of the kids came up. I had no need to go down 'cause Darry picked me a valley right beside a pool of water with a little waterfall. I both bathed and drank there, so why go down to where the pigmies were fowling their own water? What did it matter? I was kid free and on an adventure for however long I wanted to be on one. Who knows, maybe even Darry would be suspiciously absent for the next few days. I shook my head. That would be like asking for this whole crazy adventure to be over with. As long as someone else was pulling the strings I was never getting out of here and I was also never getting anything else I wanted.

"But that's how the cookie crumbles, huh Bran?" I told myself, pushing vines and other vegetable thingies out of the way

I made it about ten more feet before I had to stop and dig through my bag for cookies. I sat and started munching on peanut butter ones like Soda usually made at home. They'd have chocolate chips in them and purple food coloring. These cookies didn't look anything like Soda's, and maybe I was losing it, but they tasted just like them. That little buddy was a little buddy after my own heart in the food department.

You know, this jungle thing wasn't that bad. I mean, there were lots of colors and I couldn't complain about having something to do. Sure, it was missing a hell of a lot of good things but it was…like George of the Jungle. You know, that cartoon dude on the TV who was in love with the red head – I could have told him that was a mistake. He was a cool little dude, though. Swinging through the air on green hangy thingies…Kind of like that hangy thingy falling from that tree…

I looked up at it thoughtfully and smiled. Oh, this place just got a hell of a lot more interesting. I stood up and grabbed one.

"Now, George always grips it with both hands," I muttered to myself "Then he yells and swings."

I pushed off the ground and found you couldn't go very far when you weren't swinging off something. No wonder the guy was always in trees! Now, to climb the tree…

The branch was wobbly but I managed to get a good bounce and swing. The only question was where were the breaks on this ride?

"What did you think you were doing?"

I blinked at Darry and groaned. I felt like I'd had my clock cleaned. I had, by a tree no less. Now that was embarrassing but probably flipping hilarious for everyone watching.

"Did someone get the number of that tree?"

"No, I decided you were at fault on that collision," Darry replied and I waved him off

"We've gotta stop meeting every time I get a concussion," I muttered and Darry snorted

I was reminded then that I was not pleased with Darry and decided to walk away from the situation. Only thing was I really had nowhere to go.

"Bran," Darry sighed, "You're acting irresponsible. Swinging from trees like Tarzan…"

"I am Bran of Jungle!"

"You've lost it." Darry shook his head "If I didn't know any better I would say it was the concussion."

"You are jerk," I informed him "Where Two-Bit, big beer loving best friend?"

"We've had this talk," Darry sighed

"No. You talk, me ignore. Now, where Two-Bit?"

"Well, it's obvious we're not going to make headway today. Why don't you go back to your valley and behave yourself?"

"Me Bran of Jungle. Me go where me want."

"Fine, act like a moron. Just don't come crying to me when the island burns down early."

"The pigmies already set the damn mountain on fire, I think it's my turn!" I informed him "Especially since they did it while I was asleep, ungrateful little heathens…"

"Knowing you, it won't just be the mountain."

"Leave big bossy twin brother," I ordered "Me have date with tree. And concussion."

Darry sighed and I woke up flat on the ground with a splitting headache and a split lip. With a groan I rolled over and worked myself up to my feet.

Well, so much for an adventure. I was gonna have to sleep this one off. Maybe if I was lucky there would be a busty blonde and a gorgeous redhead in my dreams. It looked like that was the only way I was going to get anything I wanted here.

Welcome to paradise my ass.

Any comments at all are welcome and flames are accepted

See ya in the funny papers!!!

Tens


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